Sometimes I wonder when I’ll grow up, where I’ll end up and how many bug bites I’ll get between then and now. I get scared a lot more often now. But I surprise myself a lot more often now. Sometimes it feels as though everything is happening all at once all around me, pushing down on me at such a force that my own body feels at once so heavy and so light. It can be confusing. I worry about the decisions I’ve made and fret what I can change.
I’m in love and it’s scary and you’re not supposed to fall so in love. You’re not supposed to tell people, is that it? Isn’t it so? I don’t know and all that I can hope and pretend to know and take comfort in is that this is the most insane feeling in the world and it’s better to go there then to hide in my room all the time.
This city is hard and it’s fast and it overwhelms and it swallows me whole. And I can’t seem to feel my feet firmly on the ground ever. So most times, lately, I find myself quite itchy and very lonely.
And there’s people all around.
